Instead Of Waiting, Give It Yourself

If you are like most people, then you too have this strange tendency to wait for others to fill in your needs. This pattern of “waiting for others” is a bad habit, causing a lot of pain and stress in your relationships. It can even be fatal and needlessly ruin a relationship!

Reason enough to take a closer look at this habit and learn how to handle it.

At the start of a new relationship, you get everything you have been longing for, sometimes since early childhood: love, affection, tenderness, attention, excitement and energy.

You think you’ve finally found your Prince Charming (or Princess Charming) and all your needs are fulfilled forever, “They lived long and happily ever after.” You wallow in the illusion that this new excitement will last forever, and that you don’t have to do anything in order to keep receiving this stream of love and energy from your significant other.

Reality turns out differently. Not that after a while your lover loves you less, but that a big share of his attention and energy goes to his job, friends and activities he used to have before meeting you.

You panic. What’s going on? Does he not love you anymore? Did you become ugly, fat, or boring? You try to find a reason why the stream of energy coming from him is weakening. You were used to feel 300 Volt coming from him, and now you have to content yourself with a lousy 100.

You decide that you won’t let this happen and you demand he continues to give you what he gave in the beginning. You are focused on what you think you are entitled to receive, and on what the other “should” be giving you.

How strange! Why don’t you focus on what YOU can give to HIM/HER? Why be so stubborn to maintain this bizarre belief that everything you need should be given to you by someone else? Why wait for the other to give to you what you need? Why not give it to yourself? And why not simply give to the other what YOU would like to receive for yourself?

You have nothing to lose by this approach. But I can assure you that you have a lot to gain: love, affection, tenderness, attention, excitement and energy. That’s right! Exactly the same things the other freely provided you with in the beginning!

YOU can give them to yourself, and to him/her. Giving is the only fail-safe way to make sure you receive.

Try to understand this. If you have to wait for somebody else to give you what you need, you can wait forever and there’s a decent risk you will never get it.

If you give what you need to yourself and to the other, then you have it both ways: once because you gave it to yourself, and once because you will get back from the other what you gave him/her. You can have your pie and eat it!

Why does it work this way? Because by giving something, you are tuning yourself to the frequency of that which you give. Let’s say, for example, you need attention. Instead of examining the behavior, facial and verbal expressions of your partner, trying to detect whether he/she gives you enough attention, you can give attention to him/her! Ask him/her how he/she is feeling right now, how his/her day went, what he/she learned today, and if he/she met any interesting people. Show your genuine interest, and I bet he/she will be interested in you too. You give attention, and you will get attention in return!

You want love? Give love! You want advice? Give advice! You need an energy boost? Boost up someone else’s energy level and in doing so you will feel your own energy rising! You want people to listen to you? Then first listen carefully to someone else who needs to be heard. You want more friends? Then befriend others! You want more respect from your children? Respect them!

So, in order to get what you want, learn to give it first.

Instead of waiting for your significant other to give you love, why don’t you give love to him or her?

Instead of waiting for your children to respect you, why don’t you start by respecting them? Be an example.

Instead of dreaming of a wonderful job that satisfies your needs, try to be wonderful at your current job first!

Instead of wanting your friends to invest time and energy in your relationship, why don’t you give some extra time and energy to them?

Instead of waiting for peace and calm to come into your life, why don’t you create the silence and inner balance needed to feel the peace you long for?

It’s all a matter of energy vibrating. By giving what you want to others, you are tuning in to the vibrational energy of what it is you want. If you want love and you give it to others, you are in the energy of love already. Giving love makes you feel that love and thus you then attract more love into your life. Giving attention makes you feel the attention. Giving respect puts you in the energy vibration of respect and you will attract more respect towards yourself.

This works for anything you desire. You will not only get what you want by giving it, but you will also be much less dependent on others. You will feel the power of being in charge of your own life!

Tips About Giving A Best Man's Speech

Have you been asked to be a best man for a friend or relative? Are you worried about what to include in your best man's speech? Are you looking for some tips and advice about how to deliver a successful best man's speech. If you have answered yes to any of these three questions, this article may well be of benefit and interest to you.

I have been to a number of weddings over the last few years and have heard some interesting and different types of best man speeches. In the next few paragraphs, I am going to write about some of the more successful speeches, which may help other people when it comes to their turn to give a best man's speech.

It goes without saying that most people will be very nervous about standing in front of a room full of people and talking about the groom. All of the attention for that short period is fully focused on the best man, which can be very daunting. In my opinion it is a good idea to start the speech with a simple joke. If, which of course is the hope, the guests find this joke funny, it will put everybody at ease, most importantly the best man himself. After starting well, the best man should gain in confidence, which will help him to deliver the rest of the speech in a slightly more relaxed manner.

At a recent wedding which I attended the best man did exactly this. He was the younger brother of the groom and started his speech by telling the rest of the guests just how nervous he was feeling. He then stated that the speech he was about to give would last as long as the groom does when making love. At this point he sat down. This was a great start which most of the guests found quite funny. You could visibly see the relief in the best man's face at the positive response of the audience.

Within the speech itself you could have visible prompts to help you. This could be in the form of photographs from when the groom was a child for example. By showing the guests these visual aids, it helps to take the attention away from the best man and can also add to the humour.

I often hear a best man describing an event from the groom's past. This event could have been as recent as the stag night/weekend or could be some other experience which the groom would have no doubt rather have forgotten. These experiences and stories should aim to make people laugh but should be said in good taste and should therefore not include any rude material.

Preperation is the key and it would be a good idea to practice the best man's speech a few times before the big day itself. There is also nothing wrong with bringing some pieces of paper to help you to remember what it is you want to say.

I have been to some weddings where the best man's speech just never seems like it is going to end. My advice would be to talk for between five and fifteen minutes. 

I hope the above gives you some inspiration and helps you in your quest to deliver an interesting and successful best man's speech.

Positive Attitude

Are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person. 

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can't rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won't. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be. 

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

Avoiding the Scam

In the issue of repairing your credit, it is best to do it yourself. Most often, you may hear or see advertisements claiming outstanding credit repair services offering you “legal” and “guaranteed” solutions for your credit problems. These services may use mottos that are quite enticing to those who are in dire need of credit repair. There are even others who get easily convinced after reading “authentic” testimonials from several customers, who might not actually exist.

When you are really in need of credit repair, the first thing you want to do is to act immediately. You should remember that this action should be done by you and not anyone else. Luckily, there are several factors that can help you avoid scam credit repair services.

The Fraudulence

Day after day, several companies appeal to consumers who have awful credit histories. Often, they promise to tidy up credit reports, for a price, to help consumers loan a car, mortgage a home, or even get a job. The horrible fact is they cannot deliver; you should keep this in mind especially if you do not want to worsen your debt. These companies would only take the cost of the services with them and vanish into thin air.

The Signs of a Scam

If you had responded to a credit repair service, there are warning signs that can help you determine an authentic credit repair offer from a fraud. Firstly, be aware of companies that wish for you to pay the cost of the repair before providing any services. In addition, avoid those companies that do not divulge any possible legal rights you are entitled to and what processes you can do yourself without payment.

There are companies that advise consumers to directly contact a credit reporting agency - you should avoid such companies. More so, if the company you have responded to suggests that you to create a new credit identity and then make a new credit report by applying for an Employer Identification Number to use rather than you SSN, you should immediately stop contacting that company.

Lastly, those that advise you to argue all information included within your credit report or take actions that may seem illegal, i.e. generating a new credit identity, should be avoided. Remember that you could be prosecuted for wire or mail fraud if you use the telephone or mail to apply for credit and give information that are not authentic. Lying on a credit application, misinterpreting your SSN and acquiring an Employer Identification Number from the IRS under false pretenses are all federal crimes.

Most importantly, you should remember that included within the Credit Repair Organization Act is the rule that credit repair companies should not require you to pay until the services they have promised are complete.

The best possible way to avoid poor credit history, and totally keep you safe from fraudulent credit repair services, is to do a periodic credit report review. Reviewing your credit report is important because the information in your report affects your chances of getting an insurance or loan. Make sure that the information is correct, complete and regularly updated before applying for a loan. Lastly, by doing periodic check-up on your credit report, you can be safe from identity theft, which can create a major problem not only in your credit report.